Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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