i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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