margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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