And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
