How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
