I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
