I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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