If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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