there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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