Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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