If that was your dad, he is hot
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
