Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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