he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
