There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
