The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
