Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
