we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
