I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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