I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
