its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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