the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
