never play flip cup with pint glasses
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
