Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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