True but thats because hes a fetus.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
