Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
