soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
