Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
