How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
