I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
