I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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