i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
