That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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