don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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