just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
