and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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