fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
