you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
