why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
