you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
