I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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