she was so not down for the gang bang
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
