The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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