I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
