Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
