Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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