to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
