return my video game
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
