I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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