You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
