i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
