I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Gay?
German.
Pity.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
