Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
