Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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