I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
