I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
