He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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