last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
